If you are going to therapy for the first time, it can be a bit confusing, scary and mind-boggling. You may feel shy and even at a loss for words to open up about your situation, thoughts and feelings to a stranger. Many people feel empty because it can be very overwhelming to open up in front of a therapist.

According to experts, you’re not alone. It’s not uncommon for people to be unsure about what they want to discuss, as many don’t even know what’s bothering them. Plus, opening up is hard and may not happen easily, especially when you’re just getting to know your therapist.

To help put you at ease, many specialists conduct an assessment to better understand you and your needs – which helps with planning for future sessions. While others may lead you straight into the conversation. However, if you’re unsure how to start the conversation, here are some things to consider.

Start with your feelings

If you don’t know what to talk about, start with what you’re feeling. Maybe you’ve been sad, angry, or depressed all day, or if you just don’t feel good about something, you can discuss that. Most experts suggest focusing on current feelings rather than thinking about the past, as this can make you even more confused.

Many therapists and psychologists also encourage their clients to talk openly about their family members or bosses, which helps them open up to a greater extent.

Talk about relationships

You don’t have to enroll in therapy because of relationship problems. However, to build a comfortable relationship with your therapist or counselor, you can talk about relationships in general. It will also help you to open up to them about your past relationships, your relationship with your family, the support and love you get from your family and friends. It also lets them know how difficult it is for you to talk openly about your feelings.

Experts say relationships are important to your mental health, and they play a key role in your mood and emotions on a day-to-day basis. So, if you’re avoiding your family’s calls even though you have a good relationship with them, tell your therapist, and maybe the two of you can figure out why you’re avoiding them.

Traumas of the Past

It’s important to tell your therapist about past relationship troubles so they can connect the dots with your current behavior. Experts say this helps address your current feelings that are suppressed or left unresolved.

Avoid thoughts and conflicts

Everyone has some deep secrets – some thoughts and feelings that you don’t want to share with anyone, or even feel silly about having. However, you should talk to your therapist about these things, without judging yourself or feeling what they will think of you.

Experts say that uncomfortable and difficult conversations tend to get worse over time. Therapy should be taken as a safe place to talk about things you might otherwise want to avoid.

Is therapy working for you?

There may be times when you don’t feel any progress in your therapy sessions and feel that the therapist is not right for you. Experts believe this is normal and not necessarily helpful.

All therapists have different approaches – some are more direct while others prefer concrete tools. However, if you’re not getting what you need, and you’re not satisfied with the way your therapy is progressing, you may want to move on to another therapist.

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