Do you want convenience?

We all have that one friend who has a crush on someone everywhere. Whether it’s their new gym class or a wedding, the feeling of having a crush on someone and avoiding eye contact is thrilling and we’ve all experienced it.

These crushes come and go, but sometimes there are people you just can’t stop crushing on. Why? Not because you love them desperately, but because you see them so regularly. The people of the internet have coined a new term for this:

Feature Crush

A crush of convenience is exactly what it sounds like – it’s someone who becomes attractive simply because they are easily available or fit seamlessly into your life, says Ashmin Munjal, ontologist, mental health and relationship expert.

According to Ashmin, in this ‘evolving world’ of modern dating, the term ‘convenience crush’ has emerged to describe a romantic interest that develops primarily due to practical factors rather than a deep emotional connection.

Simply put, a crush of convenience means having romantic feelings for someone you see every day in your life, whether it be a coworker, friend, or classmate.

This word is going viral on social media and people are not only giving it new names but also talking about their crush.

“The feelings may not be deep, but it feels like you have genuine feelings for them. So, basically, it’s like having a crush on someone you spend a lot of time with, not because you find them attractive, but because it’s convenient,” she adds.

Absy Sam, a Mumbai-based counselling psychologist, adds that you could also have a convenient crush on someone who:

• sits next to you
• Talks to you based on the situation
• appears similar to characters seen in movies or books (Maybe someone like Vicky Kaushal?,

A famous pop culture example is when Rachel from the popular series ‘Friends’ had a crush on Joey (We know what the result was).

Why do we crush for convenience?

Now, it is in human nature to have a convenient crush or even a real-life crush.

However, if we look deeper, it can be said that one can fall in love out of convenience, as they are often based on ease of access and familiarity.

These crushes usually develop on people we interact with frequently in our daily routine, such as co-workers, classmates, gym mates, or even neighbors (good people),

Ongoing proximity and regular interaction create opportunities for feelings to develop without requiring deliberate effort or significant life changes.

This is because the human brain prefers familiar things, leading to an increased comfort and attraction towards people we encounter on a regular basis.

How do you know if it’s a crush of convenience?

If you’re struggling to figure out whether the blush that comes to your face when someone talks to you is because of deep feelings or just a convenient crush, you’re not alone.

First, let’s talk about how to tell if it’s a crush of convenience. Experts say these are the signs to look out for:

Proximity: You meet this person often because you share common activities or places, such as work, school, or the same social circles.
Regular conversations: Your conversations are frequent and predictable, often becoming part of your daily routine.
Lack of depth: Your feelings may not be very deep. You enjoy their company, but you may not know much about their personal life or values.

Situational Dependence: If circumstances change (e.g., one of you changes jobs or moves away) your attraction may diminish significantly.
Lack of future plans: You don’t think much about a future together or how your lives might intertwine in significant ways.

“Ask yourself if this is something very superficial,” says Absey. “You need to figure out if your feelings are based on how far you are from this person.”

How to get rid of it?

Getting over a convenient crush can seem like a difficult task, since you see that person almost every day. Absi gives us some tips.

Acknowledge a crush

• According to Absey, the first step is to recognize that what you’re feeling is a convenient attraction, not necessarily a deep emotional connection.

“Try to understand what the path was that led you to this attachment,” Absi says.

out of sight out of mind

When ‘Euphoria’s’ Maddie (Alexa Demie) said her famous line “Out of sight, out of mind,” she really said something meaningful. As Absie says, the less time you spend with someone, the less feelings you’ll have for them.

Focus on other interests

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• Engage in activities and hobbies that you enjoy. This can distract you and take your attention away from the person you like.
• Keep yourself busy with work, study or other productive activities to keep your mind off your crush.

Meet new people

• Expanding your social circle can help you form new relationships and make crushes less important.

• Absey also says to focus on building a “real connection,” which can help you move on from your convenient crush.

Be self-aware

Understand why you had a crush in the first place. Is it because of loneliness, boredom, or something else? This will give you insight and help you resolve underlying issues.

Finally, get help

• If you feel that none of the above solutions are working, you can always talk to your friends, family or a therapist about your feelings. They can give you a different perspective and support.

So, the next time you find yourself blushing when you see your gym or office crush, ask yourself: is it really true or is it just a matter of convenience?